WEDDING GIFTS

A lovely day around a pool in a shady backyard.

A group of women, including a great aunt in her late 80's still full of vim and vigor and a squirmy 3-year old toddler, sat together around tables as a friend's daughter opened wedding shower presents. A gentle breeze wafted the ribbons on the packages. I hadn't been to a wedding shower in a long time, but two wedding invitations arrived in the mail for friends' grown-up children.

The couples are in their early thirties, they work at labor-intensive jobs, and have already set up a households together. The invitations took me back to my own wedding preparations. I made my dress, my mother sewed the beads on the bodice, I silk screened the wedding invitations, and the two of us spent the morning of the wedding making bite-sized sandwiches for wedding guests. Like the young couple today, Bill and I knew each other since college days. We waited to marry till we settled into our careers: Bill as a management consultant and I as a teacher. We had a simple ceremony with a reception in my parents' backyard.

I sat watching the young women around the tables and listened to their own wedding preparation experiences as they sipped glasses of champagne. I was glad to hear how much hands-on work young brides-to-be still do to make their day special. One talked of spending a day with friends making paper flowers, which became her bouquet as well as table decorations. Another explained how she designed and printed her wedding invitations. On her lap sat her 7-month old daughter. Another child played with her mother on the grass.

Towards the end of the shower, several young men arrived to pick up their wives and young children. The gifts were collected and loaded into the car. The group of women, young and old, slowly dispersed after a lovely day in a shady backyard.

After I came home from the shower, I searched for our wedding album because I was curious how many gifts from our wedding we still had. I was surprised to find that there were several that I still used: a large wooden salad bowl to serve family and friends, a small set of Pyrex cookware, and a set of salad tongs that many people admire because of the hinge that connects both utensils.  I thought of the gifts from the shower and realized that they also included a salad bowl, a set of Pyrex with colorful lids, and salad tongs that are connected together. I thought of the invitations that I silk screened and my mother's help with wedding preparations. As I looked back on the day I thought some things never go out of style.