I tend to be a deliberate person (some people might say obsessive). I arrange my spice drawer so that the herbs and spices I use for different dishes are clustered together: tarragon, rosemary, and thyme for chicken dishes and salad dressing; bay leaf, basil, oregano for Italian dishes; turmeric, curry, and chili powder for spicy meals.
I have indoor shoes and a set of shoes at each door that I can use when I garden. I have a set of shelves to store my shoes by type of shoe.
I am careless about one very small thing with my shoes. When I go outside to garden, I take off my shoes and leave them as they fall. When I come back inside, I look at them, and for an instant, I cringe. I don't cringe because I didn't put them away. Instead, I think to myself, "I don't want to be the kind of person who takes off her shoes so that toes of one shoe curves around the tip of the other." Why does this small thing bother me? Even for a moment?When I look at the shoes, they seem to represent the traits that used to be encouraged in little girls: coyness, child-likeness, and sweetness, traits that I disliked as a girl and vowed not to adopt. My shoes seem to be telling me otherwise.
I am amazed each time by my reaction to such a simple display. Why does this small action make such a powerful statement? Once I realized the hidden meaning, I decided to cure myself in the same way that people with phobias do. I exposed myself to my shoe placement by taking pictures of my shoes. I hoped to help myself to get over this feeling and to tame my inner critic down.
Once I started taking pictures, of course, my shoes no longer were so casually kicked off. What is the lesson in all of this? I'm not sure yet, except to have a good laugh at myself. My one thought is that deep, hidden feelings can surface from very minor images. Even kicking off your shoes without care can change the way you visualize yourself.
What does this drawing say about the owner of these shoes?
Since I only see one shoe, I'm left to imagine what might have happened to the other. To me that means there is a story there.
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing at you because you have some great looking shoes. Mine are worn and torn and comfy.
Yes, I think there is a story in those shoes too! And I'm glad you could laugh along with me about my shoes. (I picked these on purpose to photograph -- not my well-worn ones. That's another story.
DeleteThe drawing says you are an artist who notices the details and focuses on them. I was hoping from the title that you found something lost and precious inside of a shoe, for instance, a piece of jewelry..but then perhaps you did, in the sense of self discovery.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jan, and yes, that just part of being an artist, isn't it? And you are right about the self-discovery. You never know where that will come from.
DeleteYou are going in two different directions. And I just discovered I always leave my shoes carefully pointed straight ahead. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteSince you posted your blog about shoes I can't stop looking at my shoes now & how they are left. I make an effort to have them pointing one way so that I don't have to figure out which one belongs on which foot &so on. Then I discovered I'd tossed them off one day & they ended up going in opposite directions. And once I found them pointing like yours do. So I don't think it matters a whole lot.
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