TWO QUESTIONS

This week brought up two questions about life. What can I be so that I will be remembered with fondness? And how do we make a marriage last a long time?

Someone I know died unexpectedly recently from an aggressive cancer and treatment. The outpouring of shock from friends has been wonderful and sad to read. She was one of those larger-than-life personalities who gave freely of her time and attention. The expression of shock and love is heartening to read, but bittersweet that she will not read the words herself.

I first met her at a calligraphy workship in 2016. She was originally from New Jersey and still carried that familiar accent when she spoke. She showed both her humor and interest in other people when she  connected with each person in a room. Since her passing, the two words I hear most frequently about her was her kindness and her cookies. She would bring food to every function and was well-known for her imaginative designs on cookies. Though it is sad to lose her so early in her life, I thought about how well-remembered she will be. Then, I thought about how we all would like to be remembered. There are some people I know who have passed away with a large community honoring them for their character and love of others. There are others who pass like a whisper in the wind. And some who aren't remembered with much love at all. She was one with a large community of friends.

Question Two:

Bill and I walked along Folsom Street recently, near the Embarcadero, an area in San Francisco populated by young, earnest people who chose university studies that allowed them to graduate into jobs with starting salaries that are more than I ever made as a junior high school teacher. They are the new affluent of their generation. They tend to walk in groups in conversation using a vocabulary that is not familiar to me. 

At a stop light at Beale and Folsom, two young men came up beside us, one saying to the other, "We're all super smart..." I could not help but turn my head to see who spoke. He caught my eye as we smiled at each other. Then as we waited for the light, he said, "My friend and I are making a dating video. We have about a hundred applicants with more on a waiting list. We are looking for people who have been married for many years to give advise to the people on the show about how to stay married for a long time. Would you be willing...?"

Bill and I have an impulsive streak and often say, "Yes," to an invitation such as this before thinking things through. This time we rolled our eyes, shook our heads, and said, "No, we don't think so," They pleaded, "Oh, say yes, you two would be perfect. It will be fun." We shook our heads and they waved as they started across the street, hurrying on their way to their best life.

I have been thinking about those to incidents all week. What kind of person can I be so that people remember me with love instead of bitterness or regret? What makes a marriage work over a long time?

What is your answer?

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Check out this essay about AI by Janine Vanpool the Editor of "Uppercase" magazine, a magazine for the creative and curious. A good, thoughtful read. She explains about the effect AI is having on creativity and design practices:

https://uppercase.kit.com/posts/261013