EYES WIDE OPEN

All in the Eyes of the Beholder by Martha Slavin   (finished piece!)

While we lived in Tokyo, I went to a shrine sale, similar to a flea market, looking for another obi, the long piece of narrow cloth that wrapped around the waist of a woman wearing the traditional kimono, to add another obi to my small collection. I walked by a table loaded with small items and glanced at a pair of round wire glass frames sitting in a tattered case. I picked the glasses up and looked through the glass and felt like I was looking at the world through someone else's eyes. I quickly replaced the glasses on the table and continued my search.

I remembered those glasses as I sat writing this post with my right eye half-closed. I had a corneal transplant surgery recently and am recovering nicely with the help of a patient and strict caregiver, Bill, who won't let me cross over to doing too much activity at once as I am prone to do. 

My sight has changed much since fourth grade when I had to sit about a foot away from the TV to see the programs. I've worn glasses and contacts to correct my nearsightedness and astigmatism, had cataract surgery that gave me one week of perfect vision, developed glaucoma, and now have problems with my cornea.

I don't agree with the idea that every trauma or hard experience makes you stronger. Sometimes it doesn't. In the last week though, I have had a chance to reflect on the deeper meaning of a situation that I can't control. In those moments of reflection, I have found gratitude for good friends, a good, well-lived life, and a husband who cares.

Recently we received an alumni magazine that listed people who attended the last reunion as well as the people who had passed away in the last five years. Looking at the latter list and seeing people who we remembered as vital, insightful human beings, I realized once again how random life can be. They are gone and I am here, grateful to be able to see clearly.

A few years ago, I started a daily gratitude journal. I didn't think it would make much of a difference in my outlook on life, but over time it did. At the end of the year, I went back and re-read what I had written. I noticed how often my gratitude reflected interaction with nature, a good reminder of how much being out in the natural world contributes to my well-being. I seek out writers of the natural world such as Richard Powers, Robert MacFarlane, Margaret Renkl, and Florence Williams, who have all given me a glimpse of the part we play in nature. If we live in big cities or suburbia, we forget sometimes that we are nature and that our actions have connections with the rest. 

My best advice: take a walk among trees.

 

Some of my favorite books about the natural world